Getting Past Hate/Haters

Most of us strive to be a better human being daily and it is indeed a challenge. It’s not always easy being nice or doing a good deed. In my experience, people will fault you no matter what. Whatever you do, there will be that one person or persons who will judge you for it. Even the best of us get criticized by a group of people called haters. These are people who project their darkness into your lives. And I say darkness because there is a lot of insecurities, fears and negative energy surrounding such people. It’s easy to say “ignore them” and try to move on with your life but it’s not so easy to act on that. They’re always around, they’re always changing. When you think they’re gone, new haters arrive.

Everyone wants appreciation and respect, therefore we make ourselves vulnerable and available, paving the road for haters. We don’t always take it with a grain of salt, we let it get under our skins and east us alive resulting in major insecurities within ourselves. Instead of being insecure, learn to get past people and be your biggest critic. As long as you are happy with your life, your job, you family, whatever it is you’re doing, then you’re the only validation you need.

Previously I let the constant judging and criticism instill a fear inside of me and that prevented me from actually executing the goals I laid out for myself. For instance, I have always been a writer of poems and short stories. Now I know I was nowhere near to being a novelist but I took pride on my writings because it came from me. It was the most (and still is) organic thing that I have ever produced in my life. But that pride never left the front door. I was very scared of people hating my work. I don’t mind constructive criticism at all but in my experience with people, they would look past my writing and make me feel there was something wrong with me. This happened in all aspects of my life, the way I dressed, my beliefs, my interests, it was all dragged down to make me feel that me and life’s choices are wrong. For a long time I felt so out of place and scared to be around people. I just couldn’t deal with the hate. There were times when I hated to be out in public and I think I still do. I hate being around a lot of people, it gives me anxiety. I keep expecting someone to make me feel inferior. 

One thing you have to realize about these people, they drop their opinion, take joy in your misery and carry on with their lives. They thrive on making others feel inferior and it’s nothing to do with you. Most people will hate you because you’re you, because they are not in a position to do what you’re doing or be who you are. It’s a lot to do with envy as well. People envy you for the most meaningless things.  That I would cover in a different post.

It’s easy to lose yourself, lose who you are to be accepted by society. After not fitting in for so long, surely you can’t think society will ever change. It doesn’t matter how much human civilization is advancing, the human brain stays the same. I used to think I have to be like this or that to fit in. Being myself would mean I’m a freak. Eventually I learned people will never be nice, at least not all of them. You have to learn how to react differently to judgements and criticism. Understand fully these people are missing something in life and need to bully another person to feel some sort of validation. It takes a special energy to hate on other people and their life choices. Why would you care to talk about someone, when their life clearly does not affect you and sometimes don’t even include you??? I almost feel sorry for these type of individuals.

As long as you believe in yourself and your purpose, then don’t suppress your greatness. Don’t stunt your growth for meaningless words. Even if you are not accepted by everyone because we all really can’t, it should be fine. Everyone wouldn’t like you and that should also be fine. As long as you like you and are confident in yourself and what you do is all that matters.

I will tell you one thing, most of the negativity is all inside you head. You build most of it yourself. for example, if someone is giving you a bad look, you’ll automatically think they hate you or something is wrong with your appearance. If someone says some about a portion of you work, you will question the entire thing. The best way not to feel the projected hate is to be confident in yourself. Take risks, go outside in your pajamas or make a video about politics or religion and post it.Be confident and believe in your cause even if the majority don’t believe in you. Because a handful don’t like you, doesn’t mean no one ever will. I myself took a lifetime before I found my small circle who appreciates the person that I am. 

People do not need to validate you for you to execute your plans or be yourself. People are really determined to tear you down but you must not lose sight of your vision.  Focus on your destination and let the criticism become a motivation for you to do better for yourself. The last thing you want to become is a bitter person . Kill the hate with kindness, with your smiles, with your happiness. Show them that their hate does not affect your life in any way. So you don’t necessarily have to frustrate yourself trying to ignore them, you just have to grab a handle on how you react to the criticism. Life is too short to stop living for people who really don’t have an impact on your existence. 

Good Luck 🙂

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