Everybody has played the victim card at least once in life to manipulate a situation for their own benefit, and I say once lightly because I’m pretty sure it’s more than that. Then there are those that wear it. It must get exhausting always playing that card, wouldn’t it? Shouldn’t it?
I’m not ignoring the fact that some people are actually victims, of abuse etc etc. Let me just put that disclaimer out there firstly.
Self-victimization is often fabricated for attention or manipulating other people and situations. I have recently seen people playing this role like they’re getting payed for it because they don’t want to accept being wrong. It’s difficult for them to apologize because they feel like someone else will have a sort of upper hand on them, instead they play victim and shift the blame to someone else. This is their sneaky little way of thinking they’re “winning” something.
Victims look for sympathy and attention from others when they aren’t enough for themselves. They can’t or won’t improve their situation, they bring a lot of negativity into their space and they also take advantage of people who show care and concern. I have actually dealt with being a convenient shoulder to lean on for a few people with this kind of behavior. I genuinely cared and then year after year after year, I realized these people could not be helped. It was like going in circles, no ending for it. I strongly believe people let this victim role consume them because they refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and choices in life. They get a sort of fulfillment from an outsider who will confirm what they want to hear.
Having this type of mentality, makes a person stubborn and negative. They will tell you over and over about the negative things they think and feel, but disregard anything you tell them in order to change their opinion or better their situation. From experience, I’ve seen people exaggerate a situation, putting me into a panic that something bad was going to happen to them, getting me all worked up and worried and then nothing. Maybe something will turn out good, maybe something will turn out bad but victims hold on to negative outcomes and it’s not nice to put people who really care through that.
Playing victim is a state of mind. We may feel sympathetic towards people who put themselves down or are always in a negative mood but we have to be conscious of what is real and what is a lie. Several individuals took me for this ride and exhausted me with it. What happens when you show concern, people take advantage of it and that’s all you are to them. Convenience.