Month: August 2016

Why I Use A Pseudonym

Not sure if I’m ever going to reveal my pseudonym on here, and I’ll explain why in a bit. 

I was basically ready to publish something quickly and I thought it up in the moment while designing the book cover. No lengthy thought process went into it. I used a shorter version of my first name, Kat, but I have since then changed it due to security and privacy reasons which I’ll go in depth below.

I use a pseudonym for two reasons. Reason one being, for privacy. Only a few people who are close to me know about my writing projects. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it but I am self conscious of people who I know in real life. The reality is, I don’t know a lot of supportive people, just judgemental ones, that’ll take my work and twist it into something to gossip about.

My work is inspired by a lot of things, mostly just a thought that’ll come to me while doing everyday things. An idea just hits me and I take it to pen and paper and just roll with it. Ninety-five percent of the time, the plot changes when I start working on a project but initially the ideas just come to me during routine life. 

Reason two that I use a pseudonym, I have no particular genre that I favor when it comes to reading. I am basically a sucker for storytelling. I appreciate everything that another author puts into fruition and I also write that way. When an idea hits me, it’s not always a romantic one, it can be a fantasy one, a crime fiction one etc. So I use my current pseudonym for Contemporary Romances as of date and I may release some Dark Romance and Romantic Suspense under the same pseudonym, however, I may be writing fantasy under a different name. Don’t quote me on that, I haven’t quite made up my mind about that.

As well as children books, I’d have to use another name to separate it from adult genres. I would absolutely love to write a series of books for children as I have two small children myself who are fond of books.

xo Kat

Never Been a Best Friend

I’m a very closed off person to many but for the few that I do open up a little to, I’m always seen as a back up friend, part of the group, someone to lean on but never a best friend. I’ve never had that friendship forever, ’til death do us part kind of friendship. I’ve often thought I had gotten really close to it, but it just never worked out that way for me. 

I’ve analyzed myself time and time again, thinking maybe it’s my awkwardness, my variant collection of interests but I’ve come to the realization that being someone’s BFF is just not in the cards for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I do consider people very dear to me and i appreciate people who take the time to say “Hi” or “How’s your family” but it isn’t the same. 

As a child I’ve always yearned to have that one particular friend who I can be open with, show the truest form of myself to but I was awarded with some arrogant little pricks in my life. People who’ve back stabbed me, looked for ways to blame me for their insecurities and people who just generally didn’t care what happened to me. Now that I’m older, I don’t think I need anyone so deeply invested in my life but I’m looking back on my almost three decades on this earth and reflecting on why I was never anyone’s friend.

On most days i just pass it off as having little to no interest with people. It’s very difficult to engage and keep interested in a conversation with people nowadays, it’s all about who had this  and who’s better than who. It’s all a very big competition especially where women are concerned and for that I’m glad I don’t have a big circle. 

Now meaning to toot my own horn but I think I’m an alright friend to have. I care, I think about people’s well being and I’m loyal because honestly, I’m too lazy to concoct and implement sinister plans. I have stepped in countless times to help people in their time of need, in their darkest moments but I’m always left alone during mine. It’s something that woke me up a few years back, then I realized that I am not obligated to give any other human the benefit of my friendship. So now I choose wisely. People need to earn a friendship as harsh as it sounds, it is reality. A friendship is like a relationship basically and you can’t just give the best part of you away to people who aren’t worth it. 

At no point I have been considered anyone’s best friend regardless of what they might think. I read between the lines very well, especially those nights when I’m alone and have no one to call up to talk about the mundane things happening in my life. I used to be envious of other girls and their friendships when I was younger, wishing I had that special bond with that one person but experiences has taught me not to entirely trust another human.

I do have a very tiny circle and I appreciate them acknowledging my existence, my husband included and I think he is the core reason why not being someone’s best friend doesn’t really matter anymore. Whatever bond I would’ve had with a BFF, I think it’s called marriage for me. I do annoy my husband with a lot of things he doesn’t understand but he pretends to pretend he doesn’t listen and that’s good enough for me.

Getting older, friends may not seem as relevant as they did before. I think your family becomes closer to you more than anyone else, they have your back more than anyone else. That being said, it’s not like I have my entire family acquainted with my life. I’m still closed off and I’ll always be, a part of me will never completely trust me and I’m fine with that. Once a loner always a loner. But I do appreciate the people that take time out of their day to see if I’m alive or not and I’d do the same for anyone that I have respect for. 

xo, Kat

Turning 29 and Preschool

In the last few years, I have not made a big deal out of my own birthday. I think after having kids, I’ve focused all of my celebration energies on them. Some of my relatives and peers still make a big deal about their birthdays but for me, I calculate my life based on milestones now and not years. And I’ve hit quite a few surprising ones in the last decade. 

So this is it for the twenties, the last year that I’ll be able to say I’m in my twenties. Does it bother me much? Not really and a little. I think everyone in my age group reflects on their lives as they get older because we’re at an age where we’re still trying to add to our accomplishments, we haven’t really reached the stars as yet. So it’s good to reflect and put things into perspective as to where we’d like to see ourselves in the future.

It’s funny how at this age I still feel determined and ambitious, always dreaming, never giving up hope and kids just think thirty is super old. I often think that I haven’t accomplished much in the last decade but as I reflect on it, I didn’t do so bad. Sure there are things that I have put on hold to focus building my family but life isn’t really over until it’s over, right?

I don’t want to be super depressing in this post so I’ll just focus on a few good life changing moments that occurred in the last decade.

I’m now a mommy of two, something i didn’t think I’d ever be. I honestly did not think by thirty, I’d be happily married with two children. Yikes. I’ve also changed my country of residence, released an eBook which is probably one of my biggest dreams currently. So many life changing events occurred and I have also changed as a person. My anger and disappointment is now under control. I am super chilled and accepting of all stupidity for I choose to filter it out and focus on positivity. 

My oldest child is starting preschool in less than two months. That’s just insane. She can draw and trace letters and do all of that fun stuff. It’s just crazy how they’re so little and needy one minute and the next their creativity has gone through the roof. It’s pretty exciting minus the messy house and loud noises.

Let me know how you feel about approaching the big 3-0.

xo Kat