12 Year old committed suicide on live stream?

Yes, it did happen. A twelve year old girl committed suicide on a live stream…and I saw it. I didn’t see the live stream but a video was posted on various sites in the days that followed her death.

It was one of the most horrible things I have seen in a long time, and trust me there are some pretty horrible things happening in the world right now. As a parent, it’s our worse nightmare, to even fathom our kids being troubled or hurt. But before I discuss how and why we should pay attention to our kids, I want to tell you why the child’s suicide struck me hard.

In the video, she was seen securing a rope to a tree, which she eventually used to hang herself. The entire thing is there on the video. Her poor body remained hanging until well after dark and a voice was heard calling out to her just before the video ended. Just before she hung herself, she was apologizing to people, saying that she was sorry over and over. This is what struck me, sent me back to my past right away.

Once again, I was that misunderstood teenager, rejected and hated. That’s how I felt. It was real to me. I remember being sorry, saying it again and again, with the same sobs that little girl had. I was truly sorry for my existence as I felt that I was a burden on everyone around me. I felt like my family would be better off having never known me. I felt like if I disappeared, no one would care, they’d throw a party and hardly even notice my absence.

I was made fun of, told I was being stupid, that I had no real problems. But it was real to me. So real that I hurt so bad…I couldn’t bear the pain of it all. To get to that point, it means that you’re not thinking right,  and that you need help. Unfortunately for me, therapists were a rare thing and no one took me seriously. I was blamed for the way I felt.

I wasn’t always grounded or happy, but I can safely say that I am contented. I was once a seventeen year old girl that cut her wrists to inflict physical pain for survival, sometimes to feel and sometimes to drown out what she felt. I hit my head on the wall and screamed into the nothingness around me for any sign of help.

Depression is a real disease and a real killer. The sooner we accept that and try to combat it, the better for the younger generation. It’s getting harder and harder for both children and teens to cope with family life, school life and sometimes it’s all just a whirlwind of confusion in their heads. There are bound to be signs. Look out for them, notice them and do something about it.

It saddens me that this twelve year old girl committed suicide live on the internet where people watched and did nothing. Who knows? Maybe they did. But if someone had cared hard enough, she probably would not have been driven to that point. I even saw screen grabs of a blog she allegedly wrote, and I say allegedly because I have no proof whether it was her blog or not. She spoke of sexual abuse by a step parent, horrible living conditions, self harm, a parent that probably got mad at her for feeling the way she did. There must have been signs. We as parents are the protectors of our children.

xo Kat

 

 

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