One-sided Friendships

According to statistics I don’t have what you would call a real friend. Most of the friendships that I have had in the past appear to be more acquainted in nature. I’ve never had that ride or die, bosom buddy kind of friendship. Nobody’s ever really had my back enough that I can put full faith in them. I used to be a tad bit delusional when I believed that people actually cared.

*This is not meant to be a sappy, sorry-for-myself rant. I thought it may be beneficial to someone who might find themselves in a similar situation…and no, I am not lonely. I have two kids…dear God…I…am…never…alone!*

Earlier on, I might have been disappointed and hurt over other people’s actions towards me but after being put through it time and time again, I’ve grown a thick skin. I’ve come to not put much expectation into people, especially ones that I’ve just met. If you’re ever in a situation that you feel like the inferior one, the one that’s not being paid attention to then you might want to reevaluate such friendships and relationships before they become a toxic thing in your life.

Read on to find out why I’ve decided to chuck a few people out of my life…

  1. You’re always doing them a favor. I find myself on this end of a friendship so much that it sickens me. If you’re always the shoulder to lean on when something fails in their life, or only check up on you when they need something done…then this my friend is a one-sided friendship.
  2. Long periods of no contact. When Life is peachy, your friend is hard to reach. Always busy, or battery dead.
  3. You feel alone. Despite having a “friend” you feel as though they don’t listen to you…hell they might not even know you. They don’t pick up on it if you’re having a bad day or are stressed out and they certainly don’t hear you when you voice your troubles. Unfortunately, you may be the four a.m. friend to call but there is no four a.m. friend for you.
  4. You never hang out. I’ve been in friendships where I never physically see the person. It’s always a call or a text to find out something or ask for something. Bottom line is if they don’t make time for you then you’re not that important.
  5. They never have your back. You know those times where you stand up for someone because you care enough for them….and then there’s those times when said friends couldn’t give a rats ass about what’s being said about you. They’ll listen to gossip, and sometimes encourage it….at this point that’s not even a friend.
  6. They take you for granted. They never express their gratitude or appreciation for you  despite always being there for them. They’ve come to feel entitled to your undivided attention and resources.
  7. You’re always wrong. How dare you counter their incorrect statement with actual evidence? You must be out of your mind.
  8. It’s always your fault. Friendships, like relationships have their own planet of arguments and disputes…but it’s always your fault, isn’t it?
  9. You’re the peacemaker. After an argument, you’re always the one to chuck your feelings out and maintain the peace. They’re never the first to approach you with an apology.
  10. They really don’t care. To them you are unimportant. It doesn’t matter what buttery voice they come at you with next, they simply don’t value you as an individual person with feelings.
  11. You are disposable. When you have that gut feeling that this friend can just drop you at any time and don’t look back….then yeah, you’re probably right about that.

 

xo,Coffee Doll

Hope you guys are having an amazin’ week thus far 🙂

 

8 comments

  1. I agree with you 100%. I’m done with having friends for the sake of having friends. What I value now is genuine people who want to be in your company and where there is no great effort to be around. Where you enjoy each other’s company as simple as that.

    Having true friend is very rare to have. We have a lot of people we know and hang out with who make us laugh but only few will stand with you in your darkest hours. Only a couple of people, which includes family, will drop everything to have your back if the situation arises.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You write how I feel. It is comforting to find your own feelings valued and understood in others. Like you I am not sad or lonely, only frustrated and disappointed…perhaps. Currently going through this; my one sided friend, never call backs, never turns up when they say they would, never comes around for that coffee, always promises another day, whilst complaining and moping on end about another dilemma in their life.
    Fortunately I have amazing members of family, love love love them and a very strong sense of self.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Only recently I tried making a friend, thinking that i’d at least get some adult interaction over a cup of coffee….turns out she just wanted favors that are a bit strenuous on me. Most days I’m scared to make friends outside of my home so I just try to enjoy my husband and kids to the fullest but it does get lonely. Some conversations you want to have with another adult woman you know

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s sad, isn’t it. But I wouldn’t give up, just hone your friend radar, because I think we all need that companionship.

        It’s just harder to discover once your older, with kids, family, work commitments. I still try and just recently (this week) I met a group of girls in the surf and we just clicked, which was nice. Like love, maybe our friendships will appear when we’re least expecting it.

        Liked by 1 person

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