parenting

She said “fat” to my kid! :O

Something I’ve struggled with since childhood was people constantly making weight comments in a deregatory way. My weight has fluctuated all during my childhood and until now but I’ve never been to the point where it’s an unhealthy weight gain, just a little chub. Because of the mean comments I’d gotten at an age too early, I made it a thing not to use the word “fat” in a joking way in front of my kids. People struggling with weights issues is not a funny thing at all. We’re not inside people’s heads to know where they’re at in their lives and personally, I don’t think making fun of people’s appearance or intellect is a good thing to do. It’s just not my thing and I’d like to raise my kids with that mindset also. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way and we have no right to comment or bully another person of their shortcomings. 

To elaborate on the heading of my post, I have to share a small story that happened recently. My daughter is almost five by the way and I’ve never heard her say the word “fat” or comment on someone’s size. Her uncle or dad bought her a Hershey’s chocolate bar and that day we had a relative over. My daughter isn’t an irresponsible candy eater so she broke one block of chocolate and stored the rest in the fridge to be consumed over a weekly period, also to be shared with her younger sister. In my opinion that’s not so unreasonable, was it? Well, my relative proceeded to tell my daughter that chocolate will make her fat and that she shouldn’t eat it. While I do get concerns about monitoring what kids consume, many parents give their kids a little chocolate occasionally and they don’t do it in a way that’s harmful for them. If I’m doing something unknowingly as a parent, I would appreciate any good advice I can get so I’m not mad she said that to my kid but I am concerned about bullying my kids for something she eats when it’s not harmful to her.

Well, my daughter doesn’t even know what “fat” means so she resumed doing whatever it was that she was doing. She’s slender by the way so I don’t know why a grown person would want to make such a young child aware of body shaming. My husband and I, her parents, do a pretty good job of balancing healthy nutritional meals with treats in between. 

What makes this topic sensitive for me  was bullying. I hid my head in my lunch bag to eat at school, I was terrified of eating in public. I’ve starved myself, thrown up food after meals and it took me almost all of my life to combat the bullying and taunts from people around me. I’ve seen girls of all shapes and sizes being bullied by people who are just hateful And while it may never fully end, the best thing we could do for our children is to educate them on how to deal with bullies as well as how not to be a bully.

As always thanks for reading. Drop me a line in the comments, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

Xo Kat

7 thoughts on “She said “fat” to my kid! :O”

  1. Hi Kat, if you are dubious by giving your daughter a bar of hersheys that she eats in a week? i’m a baaaad mother. I give my kids way more than that. and the good news? I don’t feel like i’m being a bad mother. they eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, and they like to eat a lot of other healthy food. the point is, we raise our kids on the best way we think we can. we might err occasionally and know we did, or we might not know. but we’ll never do something we believe is harmful. Others might not agree with our style, but hey, we don’t always agree with someone else’s style either.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Of course i respect everyone’s difference in parenting. It’s not really about the chocolate, i just felt it appalling to put weight consciousness into a young child’s head. It creates problems later down the road. It did for me at least

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally agree with you, Kat. I don’t think it’s anybody’s business to mention others’ physique let alone ridicule them. No way. I wouldn’t trust such people no matter how respected they might be or what great things come out of their mouth. Ridiculing others for their appearance is totally disrespectful and I just can’t stand it.
    I have never been such a slender type with perfect hair/teeth. I have always been on the chubby side and I don’t think myself pretty at all, practically I have zero confidence in myself but I always try to avoid any topics about weight and others’ appearance no matter what. As you said, everybody is beautiful in their own way and we should respect for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well said! And to make weight watching a relevant thing to a child in an embarrassing way is a bad move. There are nicer ways to say something if a person really feels the need to comment. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

      Like

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