Why does everyone hate turning 30?

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I am about two months shy of turning thirty, and most of my past classmates are too. More than a handful of people that I’ve spoken too has a negative view on turning thirty and it’s been really interesting to hear.

Of course, we as humans tend to set milestones for ourselves and thirty is that number where you’re officially an adult…nope not eighteen or twenty like we initially thought. Thirty marks a certain point in our lives where we enter new chapters and we do change a lot even though it doesn’t seem like it. I for one, have gotten a little better with skin care and the kind of food I eat. We tend to want to put more nutritional things into our bodies as well as practice a healthier lifestyle. Why? Because our body simply doesn’t work the way it used to. We can’t pull all-nighters then show up to work fine the next day.

Coffee also becomes your best friend, unless you’re completely anti-coffee then drink tea…lots of it. 🙂

Before I go off on a tangent let’s examine the reasons why people see turning thirty in a negative light.

Uncompleted goals. The goals we had realistically set for ourselves at twenty seem far-fetched and unrealistic. None of them ever came into fruition. We thought we’d have everything all figured out by twenty-five but five years later, we’re still hanging by a thread or even wanting to start new life goals.(like myself)

Sometimes self-realization comes at a later time in life than everyone else. It’s not something you should beat yourself up about. Til there is life…there is hope.

Fear of aging. Young people think you’re ancient and that you were never into cool music and fashion. Your time to shine has expired. This can sometimes weigh on your own impression of yourself. Your teens and twenties was a fun ride, and turning thirty seems to make you feel like it’s coming to an end. Thin of it as beginning another chapter. 🙂

Looks and Interior. Like I was saying above, we can’t survive on soda and burgers anymore and those lines of aging near our eyes are really coming to life at this point. Not everyone wrinkles at thirty, some people age like fine wine. Me however, I look like a tired train wreck all of the time, but it’s not something a little make up can’t cover up…*cough cough* I mean’t diet and exercise. Your body really changes. Yes it does. I get acid reflux all of the time that I only feel safe eating granola(true story). We know that somewhere between thirty and forty we’ll start looking a little older than we did in our twenties and for some reason it scares the crap out of us.

I think what it comes down to is a mixture of fear and disappointment of not having achieved everything we wanted to achieve at this point and entering a brand new decade with all of that baggage. The fear of uncertainty perhaps.

Turning thirty doesn’t bother me as much and it shouldn’t bother you. Stay true to yourself and keep focusing on those goals. Just think about it, we’ve had three decades of ups and downs, lousy teenage years or great ones…we’ve dealt with acne scars, heart breaks and we’ve made some of the best memories we’d ever have. Embrace yourselves get ready for your brand new decade….

xo Coffee Doll

 

 

Bitter Vs Better

Bitter vs Better…. what does this mean to you? We may see becoming a better person as a sign of weakness when in reality it could be one of our greatest strengths. Too often being bitter is chosen over being better. At first it feels great to be in a revengeful position. It’s feels like winning and that is a feeling so great that we tend to become more and more bitter to upkeep that superior position.

Bitterness is a present feeling and attitude not a future one. It’s only so long you can get a kick out of making someone else hurt or pay for what they’ve done to you. A grudge may last a super long time but not forever. Even if you don’t make peace with it, eventually you’ll need to move on.  There are people that I have chosen to simply ignore and remain silent to. Many years later I feel great that I didn’t make an a** out of myself trying to prove them wrong. 

However long you may feel bitter towards a person, whether it’s a week or years, it will indeed have an impact on you and your life. Focus on what the bitterness does to your heart and mind. Carrying around any negative feeling makes you feel heavy inside, sometimes even dirty. It’s darkens your life, it becomes you.

In the past, I have let grudges get the better part of me to the point where it was hard for me to live, to appreciate myself. I would just lock myself in my room and wallow in the fact that others made me feel uncomfortable. It made me so dark, so disconnected from my life. I felt paranoid, like everyone was out to get me. This is what happens when you stay bitter for too long. You forget to live.  

I still feel like I have wasted a portion of my life being so bitter all the time. Now that I have learned to move on and stay positive, it seems really silly that my old self was hiding from life. Life is never going to be perfect, there will always be bad things and bad people crossing your path. You can’t change that but you can change your attitude towards it. I wish I had the strength and knowledge I have now when I was a teenager, but life is a learning process and what I know now helps me to be better at handling bitterness. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am bitter quite a lot, people just don’t see it. I don’t feel the need to project my bitterness onto someone else to prove a point. We’re all human and we feel anger and hatred but we don’t always have to act on it and make stupid choices. Saying and doing things out of anger can cause you loads of embarrassment later in life.Being better towards people and situations is being better to yourself. Bitterness hinders your progress as a person. Keep your dignity, don’t stop living and don’t forget how to smile. Your happiness lies within you.

xo

Kat